Life Continued

Sorry errrbody, I know your favorite blogger has been away for a minute but I've been busy lol not really, but it has been a tough last 4 days. I was studying all Tuesday for my two test on Wed, and when i say all Tuesday I mean finding time to waste most of the day and sparingly studying from like 8p,-5am. It wasnt all studying i also had two assignments to do.

Because of all that studying came three results.

1. First one, I'm positive I got a Low A-High B on my communications mid-term(LOL doesnt "mid-term" make it sound better than "test"), but to tell you the truth it wasn't that difficult.
2. Secondly, I'm positive i got AT BESSST a C on my Anthropology mid-term, prolly got more like a D though, (Update i got a B on the test) like forreals it was the hardest test that I have taken since Ive been in college. How the FAUX are you supposed to know who created the ideas for "catastrophism" and other ideas like that when the teacher says nothing about any of that stuff. He also doesnt tell us what to study. He just tells us that test is going to be on chapters such and such. Not to mention my 6 year old nephew has better handwriting than this highly intellegent 70 yr old. And he is a smart guy dont get me wrong, but my other two friends in the class agree that is was the hardest shizz ever. Oh welllll
3. Lastly, I decided to play basketball that Wed night to let off some steam, and i played for three hours. I got about an hour of rest from the time i came home from my classes to eating and then playing Basketball. I also then stayed up till 2 doing nothing. Needless to say i was tireeeedddd.

Resulting from this tiredness, came me sleeping in till 3(yes that's 3 like before 4 and after 2)pm. Lol I woke up at like 9 and 10am but I just kept telling my body that I needed more rest, plus I dont have classes on Thurs, or Tues, yea I know yall hate me. So when I woke up I decided to watch a movie, and just wait till 7....so I could play more basketball, haha that seems to be my schedule these days. And that is why I have finally decided to finish up my story.

So picking up from where I left off, I couldnt tell her that I had just kissed some girl, so we continued our relationship. So here comes the interplay of friends and rumors.

My "bestfriend" it seems told his girlfriend what I had done, and even more. He lied to her and told her that I had had sex with the girl that I had only kissed. This is soooo completely false. Why you ask would he lie to his gf and say this? I really thought about this question myself. I couldn't understand it. Well it could be to save face. He had been cheating on his girlfriend to a vast degree and he probably thought he could redirect the attention of his mishaps onto me. It could be that his "gf" saw me in a good light as a good person and he wanted to ruin that. He might have been jealous of me, I dunno. That and boyfriends tend to tell their girlfriend's their bestfriend's dirtiest secrets, ya know in confidence that they would never say anything about it. Just like how I told my girlfriend how this bestfriend was cheating cheating on his girlfriend with three other girls. Yes three. Lol but that is life.

So, about..hmm..I think a month later, my "bestfriend's" girlfriend found out about all HIS dirty laundry and just goes on a rage, I mean like wanting to hurt the guy rage. They of course break up, and the girl does whatever she can to make the guy feel like absolute shit. This in turn means making all his closet friends turn on him, while making their lives miserable at the same time. So his ex-girlfriend now calls my girlfriend, and tells her allllll this falsified information. Tells her that I had sex with ol girl and that I'm a cheating bastard, and she needs to get rid of me ASAP.

Man...I remember getting that voicemail. I was playing basketball, and I go to my phone, and it says one missed call from "Koolest Person On The Planet" and there is a voicemail. I thought to myself cool, she called(which was kinda rare). So I listen to it, and in a worried voice, I hear something along the lines of we need to talk. Right away I knew what it was, I could tell just from her voice. So I tried to do the right thing, I called. So we are on the phone (whoa my hand started sweating from thinking about this) and I asked her what was wrong, and she straight up asked, did you do anything with so and so. Ok, so people here have told me that I should have just lied to her and denied denied denied, but I'm glad I was able to tell her the truth. I as a person don't really like lying. I just tell you the truth(haha balla boyz...mom: "what are you boys doing tonight?" me: "oh you know getting drunk") Soooooo I told her that I kissed the girl and felt up on her WHEN I was drunk.(fucking alcohol) She hung up on me.....

That night, I tried talking to her and calling her to no avail. I at this point was not only mad at myself for doing those things and not telling you at first but also mad that my ex found out. I know that only one person could have told her. I called up my friend and he said that he didnt say anything. He did say that he told his ex gf awhile ago. This led me to calling her up. I was so heated at her, like so, we were not even on bad terms before then. So I asked her why and she said that I was no better than her ex because I cheated to. I told her that I had only kissed the girl (which is still very bad) and etc. She then told me that she heard I had sex with the girl. She said that her bf told her I had sex, I told her what really happened and...LMAO and she said SORRY. Like really??? U just ruined my relationship over false info and u say sorry. WOW, but i deserved it anyways. The whole thing was my fault, I should have never had anything to hide. Anyways I asked her to call my gf up and tell her the Truth. She did so, but my gf had heard enough already and wasnt going to listen to what either of us had to say. So in my last effort I decided to try and talk to her at her job. So with my car making one of its last runs, I drove to the movie theatres at 1 in the morning. I sat in the lobby for about 15mins waiting for her after leaving numerous voicemails. She comes out and sees me, tells me that she doesnt want to talk to me, and walks away. This whole confrontation took about 2 minutes. Sadly, I just walked back to my car, sat in it and thought awhile, then drove back home.

I was mad at her, wrongfully I know, But still mad, I drove all they way to her job and she couldnt even give me 5 minutes. I had the person that told her the lies on me call her and tell her the truth. I felt as if there was nothing I could do. So I just didnt really do anything after that. The timing was just horrible after that. She went on some family trips like three I think and I had no way of seeing her and she worked alot as well, so did I. I tried calling a couple times, but I ended up writing her a letter. I can express things better on paper when I have time to think, I feel. I gave her the letter that talked about how sorry I was and how much I missed her and the truth, thats really all that I could say, when she got back from I think her second trip. She visited me either that night or the next after she got off of work. I was very sad sitting there on the bench with her in front of my house as she explained that she just couldnt go out with me again after that, and how we were going off to college anyways, and how she was going to really miss my family. That was the last time I seen her all of summer break. Actually that was the last time I've seen her at all.

I wrote her another letter after that, and dropped it in her mailbox, again it said things like I would give anything to be with her, and that I didnt care if we were going to college. Ya see I realized that all the fights we had were over little stuff, and in the big picture they dont really matter.

The next girlfriend I have Imma make sure I dont fight over all the little shit. I promise this. Back to the story, she wrote me a letter back this time, she told me she did miss me and the corniness that came with but still couldnt be with me.
I figured, she probably wanted to meet guys in college, and she was probably ready to get out of our relationship anyways. I would see her in party pictures on myspace or facebook. I can't fault her really cuz I messed up, and it is what I deserved. She was moving on. I tried to that summer too but couldnt fully. I didnt want it to end on those terms. But sometimes, thats just how LIFE is. (I heard some people say that if she really really cared about me then she would have got back with me, that forgiveness was possible. I thought to myself I was in the wrong she owes me nothing...even though that "bestfriend" and "heated crazy ex-gf" ended up getting back together about a month or two later, even though he cheated with threee different girls....???...I dunno, I guess she REALLY loves the kid) I just think I never had my proper closure. Its better if we didnt go out cuz we didnt work but still, you still want that closure, I really can't stand people being mad at me. It hurts me.

I went off to college, and I think wrote her b4 I left and once since Ive been in college. We actually talked on the phone once or twice, with me calling her her first week in college to see how she liked it and to tell her I got a new phone number(ya know in case she wanted to ever speak to me lol...). Hmm I guess I should have cherished those moments a little bit more at the time huh? And that has been my life so far with lil mess ups on facebook or AIM by me trying to say SOMETHING to her. I sent her a little package for valentines day to her dorm, and I got a nice voicemail in return, and a 3 min convo. That was good enough for me. I wrote some pretty heartfelt stuff in that vday card, and I wanted to kinda see how she felt, if anything.

Ok so now audience I want yall to do me a favor really fast….

Picture your greatest career ever that you've worked for many years to get.

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Ok so now let’s say your career was to be a very, very rich businessman and that’s the only career that u’ve ever truly wanted.

Now picture that career telling you…straight up...that it doesn’t think that you can cut it. haha
You should be a gas pumper or grocery bagger. You wouldnt want to live your dream life being rich and having a fascinating career. See, I believe you have to constantly work in a relationship. U cant just give up on it if it doesn't seem to work out at first.

Yea that’s kinda how it feels. It SUCKS, but like I said this is LIFE, just a tiny part of it. I figure I’m only 18, and I’ve already been in a couple relationships. Ill hit my peak about 30? Lol so that means I got (counts on hand)…I dunno but I know that there is a lot of life ahead me(I hope) and I plan on making the most of it. Plus my diet is going ok, still on pace, all my teeth are still intact, I shower daily, I’ve tried this thing they call “deodorant” but I got mixed feelings lol, I'm smart, kinda funny(looking), and I work(when i can)….I think I should be good lol….like they say there are "many fishes in the sea"...or in my case, there are alot of good, well deserved careers out there....lol alot of cute careers out there too I see.

Girls shouldn't be scared off because of what happened. I truly feel I have learned my lesson and have had a terrible what 7 months suffering from it. I am ready to move on and see what the world has to offer. So girls if you want to contact me my number is 562 313...get the faux out of her lol, naw just find me at Brooks or LBstate, or of course CVizzle. www.myspace.com/babydirk

(Oh yea to the ex out there that isnt getting mentioned, dont feel bad, I cared for you too at one point. I just dont think it was meant to be. You were a little "off the chain"..if thats what you call TPing someone's house, and ketchuping, condoming, and padding someone's car a year or more after yall break up, "off the chain".)

I guess you can say that for alot of relationships huh?

I'm off to bed, Im going to visit and spend the night over my boy Josh Yoo's place in Irvine tomorrow, and I'll prolly blog next time on Sat. telling yall how it went so until next time…Toney Baloney Out

Song of the Day: Asia Cruise Feat. Huey - Selfish (Official Remix)
song slap...hella catchy...

Shout out to my man Robert Clarified...doing Big things on the debate team in Texas....Word